There's nothing as boring as being a banker and worse being in the back office..........sigh!!!!! I feel bored to tears, bored outta my natural mind. I need a change of job, environment.......in short i need such money that will empower me to take a walk and never look back. To fly away to da Bahamas, take a trip to paris (will probably find romance if not love), check up Egypt and the wonders of the world, acquire a jammo boyfriend, get a rich, young, tall, cute Nigerian guy to put a ring on it and sweep me off my feet, live life without the natural worries of everyday existence......well............wateva....................(Snap out of it chic, this is ur life).
Have u ever realised ow so different from novels and movies real life is, ave been searching for that thrill they all seem to experience and understand in da movie world to no avail.
Remember those my colleagues i aint yearning with? well, they are both moving outta the office, one to another dept, the other same dept but another block, anyways they are both leaving not only to other buildings but different streets and branches (I should be happy, right?).
I just aint, i feel a strange emptiness, u know the feeling that comes wit having to say goodbyes? the worst part is, i wont get to say goodbye cos i aint yearning with them (sour!!!), so i bid them the best here(yea, they cant see it but i can......lol). I got the guys a piece of gift for his son and asked another collegaue to deliver............i really dont understand why we cant all just swallow our prides and move on, wateva(didnt mean to bore u guys with my sorrow yearns).
On a brighter note! ave found myself a man, okay more like ave started to gel for the one, u know that one........................lol.
Yeap!!!!
Love ya all binty mush.
There this silly gurl bothering my life here, wants me to take her to see her fiance durhhhhhhhhhhh, told her i dnt bliv in love and dnt get what she's feeling....................................but i gatta go.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
ANOTHER DAY
Marriage is so in the air now..............bach eves, bridal showers, the big day etc...............sigh!!!!
I know its been a while ave been here, distractions from all sides of the globe wldnt lemme come pour out my heart, my lovely MJ dissipitated, HCM's sole aim is to kill me with huge targets within unattainable time frames not to talk of the money search bug that has just hit the system...............dang!!!! Life sometimes sucks but i'm happy i'm alive notwithstanding the slime and grime.
The man-distractions have been limited to just one(about all i can really handle at a time), others have taken cue from the cold treatment and ave finally thinned to the side lines(although they resurrect from time to time). I also feel much older now, dnt know if that's due to age, experience, weight, boredom or fatigue. Did i mention that i'm so over ex like orange wont go with yellow(yeow!!!), not like i'm head over heels with the current bloke(F) but......hmmm!! he sure will do, cos peeps keep reminding me that me biological clock is ticking(eyes rolling).
Its another day at work and i so need to change my unit or change jobs...........my peeps are actually real sweethearts to work with but the unit aint managment's fav and do u need a guess as to what that means(sigh!!!)...........guys, ama keep ma resume rolling.....
Well, i still dare to dream and i dream BIG, so big that even i know its just a DREAM. For instance, wanna get married to an insanely rich guy that i dnt need to work to survive, if i work its cos i wanna and only wen i wanna. Also, sometimes i dare to dream of love, being head over heels with someone thats insanely in love with me(is that remotely possible??).................sigh!!!! but i always remind myself that i'm just an averagely okay gal whose gotta fight a lil harder than others to live an xtraordinary live(whose gotta clue ow to outwit the band???). Also dream of having friends that will be true to me, okay, guess ave got that cos ave got some real good friends(even i know that).
On a brighter note, my friends and I organised a fantastic bridal shower for a friend....it was well planned to surprise the jitties outta the BTB and men! was she! hmmm! The parry was at my end and we just had a beautiful time TDB on friday night(smiles) such beautiful times.
Gotta get back to work.
Did i remember to let u all know how much i love you guys and i sure missed my lil villa loads..........
I'm BACK
I know its been a while ave been here, distractions from all sides of the globe wldnt lemme come pour out my heart, my lovely MJ dissipitated, HCM's sole aim is to kill me with huge targets within unattainable time frames not to talk of the money search bug that has just hit the system...............dang!!!! Life sometimes sucks but i'm happy i'm alive notwithstanding the slime and grime.
The man-distractions have been limited to just one(about all i can really handle at a time), others have taken cue from the cold treatment and ave finally thinned to the side lines(although they resurrect from time to time). I also feel much older now, dnt know if that's due to age, experience, weight, boredom or fatigue. Did i mention that i'm so over ex like orange wont go with yellow(yeow!!!), not like i'm head over heels with the current bloke(F) but......hmmm!! he sure will do, cos peeps keep reminding me that me biological clock is ticking(eyes rolling).
Its another day at work and i so need to change my unit or change jobs...........my peeps are actually real sweethearts to work with but the unit aint managment's fav and do u need a guess as to what that means(sigh!!!)...........guys, ama keep ma resume rolling.....
Well, i still dare to dream and i dream BIG, so big that even i know its just a DREAM. For instance, wanna get married to an insanely rich guy that i dnt need to work to survive, if i work its cos i wanna and only wen i wanna. Also, sometimes i dare to dream of love, being head over heels with someone thats insanely in love with me(is that remotely possible??).................sigh!!!! but i always remind myself that i'm just an averagely okay gal whose gotta fight a lil harder than others to live an xtraordinary live(whose gotta clue ow to outwit the band???). Also dream of having friends that will be true to me, okay, guess ave got that cos ave got some real good friends(even i know that).
On a brighter note, my friends and I organised a fantastic bridal shower for a friend....it was well planned to surprise the jitties outta the BTB and men! was she! hmmm! The parry was at my end and we just had a beautiful time TDB on friday night(smiles) such beautiful times.
Gotta get back to work.
Did i remember to let u all know how much i love you guys and i sure missed my lil villa loads..........
I'm BACK
Friday, June 19, 2009
Randomings
When i grow up i want to be a princess....Yes!!! a princess, with the gowns, chariots, servants, but of cos with Prince.charming.....
I consider my here and now, a growing process, you know just like sleeping beauty....i'm kinda in a deep sleep now(but this sleep is exhausting...sigh)......just chilling for Prince Charming to charge into my castle, in his sleek white horse, pulling off my duvet and giving me da kiss o f life......
Gawd!! how i hate that bitch........she seems to be getting it all..u know, getting it all....a kinda guy that appeals to me, the attention, i really wouldnt have minded it at all......except that she's a classic BITCH, damn!!! i hate her so much right now.........sigh!!(This aint good for me, i know).
I'm breaking out real baddddddd. HELPPPPPP! was it sassy or alter ego that said on her blog that we shld try d tomatoes theraphy, ama try dat out this weekend(peeps, wish me luck)...
Its another beautiful friday and for the first time in like forever.......i aint thinking about ex(am i??) anyways, i kinda think i'm so over his broke, scrublike, users ass..........and ready for da real breath of fresh air...............hmmm!!! waiting to exhale (again???, bera be careful me)
Major issue is, ave gone 2 promise these coupla guys that i wld be by their sides forever, i feel so so bad that i may not be able to deliver..........(Now dont go berating me) i really needed a shoulder and i was too much of the super woman to let it show...............i actually kinda meant those promises wen i gave them...i guess one of the duo is beginning to c d light but this other...............sigh!!! this other, i'm holding on to him for my selfish interest.....................................YES..............Unguardedheart is a selfish motherfucker(yipes!! there goes my french again, sorry peeps).
He's an okay dude and all, he's just kinda short for me liking and a lil "sigh!!"(no insults intended), but he's offering to put a ring on d finger and i kinda covet that right now...........(pls, peeps i need to know does that make me bad or crazy). The other thats the sharpiro, who's also offered to put a ring on d finger, just bloody knows ow d hell to get on me nerves...............now, mr.sharpiro is kinda cute but short(eye rolling.......damn! is dat like a curse or something) yea, he's kinda cuter than mr "sigh!!" but i kinda trust "sigh!!" more and he doesnt gimme hassles. He knows wen a lady doesnt wanna hear more and all(pls, am i selfish???).
I'm sure my castigating them wldnt be so BAD if only i were half as in love with them as i was with mr.bitchassed nigger....................truth is, right now, i feel like ave seen da light and there's nothing really called love. What we can explore now is mutual respect and "growing" in love...forget that shit in fairy tales about love at first sight and falling in love......................peeps, there's no such thing as that(correct my uneducated thought process if i'm wrong).
Did i mention that its friday????? yipee!! dupee!! will be doing karaoke and chinese(dnt know where yet) and for the record i'll be doing it wiv ma gals(they dnt expect pretenses)..
Love ya all.
Peace out
I consider my here and now, a growing process, you know just like sleeping beauty....i'm kinda in a deep sleep now(but this sleep is exhausting...sigh)......just chilling for Prince Charming to charge into my castle, in his sleek white horse, pulling off my duvet and giving me da kiss o f life......
Gawd!! how i hate that bitch........she seems to be getting it all..u know, getting it all....a kinda guy that appeals to me, the attention, i really wouldnt have minded it at all......except that she's a classic BITCH, damn!!! i hate her so much right now.........sigh!!(This aint good for me, i know).
I'm breaking out real baddddddd. HELPPPPPP! was it sassy or alter ego that said on her blog that we shld try d tomatoes theraphy, ama try dat out this weekend(peeps, wish me luck)...
Its another beautiful friday and for the first time in like forever.......i aint thinking about ex(am i??) anyways, i kinda think i'm so over his broke, scrublike, users ass..........and ready for da real breath of fresh air...............hmmm!!! waiting to exhale (again???, bera be careful me)
Major issue is, ave gone 2 promise these coupla guys that i wld be by their sides forever, i feel so so bad that i may not be able to deliver..........(Now dont go berating me) i really needed a shoulder and i was too much of the super woman to let it show...............i actually kinda meant those promises wen i gave them...i guess one of the duo is beginning to c d light but this other...............sigh!!! this other, i'm holding on to him for my selfish interest.....................................YES..............Unguardedheart is a selfish motherfucker(yipes!! there goes my french again, sorry peeps).
He's an okay dude and all, he's just kinda short for me liking and a lil "sigh!!"(no insults intended), but he's offering to put a ring on d finger and i kinda covet that right now...........(pls, peeps i need to know does that make me bad or crazy). The other thats the sharpiro, who's also offered to put a ring on d finger, just bloody knows ow d hell to get on me nerves...............now, mr.sharpiro is kinda cute but short(eye rolling.......damn! is dat like a curse or something) yea, he's kinda cuter than mr "sigh!!" but i kinda trust "sigh!!" more and he doesnt gimme hassles. He knows wen a lady doesnt wanna hear more and all(pls, am i selfish???).
I'm sure my castigating them wldnt be so BAD if only i were half as in love with them as i was with mr.bitchassed nigger....................truth is, right now, i feel like ave seen da light and there's nothing really called love. What we can explore now is mutual respect and "growing" in love...forget that shit in fairy tales about love at first sight and falling in love......................peeps, there's no such thing as that(correct my uneducated thought process if i'm wrong).
Did i mention that its friday????? yipee!! dupee!! will be doing karaoke and chinese(dnt know where yet) and for the record i'll be doing it wiv ma gals(they dnt expect pretenses)..
Love ya all.
Peace out
Thursday, June 18, 2009
MY STORY
Will like to give much love to Missk, Sassy and brokeassfab for disvirgining my blog page, thanks darls.
Today has been very boring with nothing to do, well since my supervisors aint around i decided to pend all my assignments till 2morrow too, the job can wait.....plsssssssssss.
Lemme tell u a lil about dat guy, the one dat smashed my innocent heart and robbed me of my V, ok maybe not robbed me cos it was sooooooooooo much funnnnnnnnn.
The day we met was actually a pretty horrible day for me(should ave smelt the heartbreak from day one), was in training and we were paid by cash cards( now dnt laugh, but that was my first real contact with cash cards) and was it a horrible experience. The money wldnt come outta d machine, upon d third attempt the card was swallowed by the machines and goshhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! i was so in debt and disgusted, did i mention that i was also in a strange state(sigh!!). Finally gave up on the card cos the bank had closed and went back to me hostel with a really long, umade up look. Saw a class mate of mine with a fine looking young man chatting their hearts out by a babyboy. U know now, being a classy(albeit, unmade up) chic that i ma, i just ignored the duo and moved on. But they wldnt ave any of that, the class mate called me to ask about the sad, long look and voila!!!! fate rolled into motion.
He gave me his name and i was like "Brew", wats dat"Brew" ur parents actually christened u that(lol), with a straight face, dude said "yup"....he lied. Anyways, that meeting was uneventful, went to chase after my stipend that wouldnt dispense and becry my woes to colleagues in my shoes.
Then, some days to our big party...was flirting some with the friend(no deeper action intended) just a gal aving some fun and feeling her feminity...u know now. Anyways, the Brew called me and i was shocked outta my boots. He became a constant call buddy. The friend mwhile, thot he cld play a fast one and steal some "wateva" from me but????excuse me??? he wasnt getting shit, the friend had stolen me heart over d phone(lol), he cldnt ave gotten shit from me anyway, i wasnt down on me like that.......
Then back to lasgidi and we became a major "hot" item. Did i mention that i later realised he was a home scrub.....well, was bunking with some friends but by then,.......the heart had taken a run. We were always together, wenever we cld...met his FAMILY.....yea, they also play that kinda joker.
My guy then lost his job and was i a good, xtian chic, yup, i was... stood by him through the tears, shock, dissapointment et al. Did a lil of my money spending et al before he finally landed a job with a whopping fat pay..............BEGINNING OF THE END.
Did i mention that he lost his grandmum sometime and i followed him to an unknown land, buying gifts of condolence for his family...........things we do for love.......sigh!!!!
Well, he got this job and the story changed..............he became gbogbo bigs bois......
calls - infrequent, neva returns calls, voice over phone-cold, visits-only after whining. Then, u kinda nag too much, u are choking me, i'm confused.........................then the grand visit................and d royale dame.............sigh!!!!!!
Not like i didnt call b4 turning up at his door...i sure did but he was 2 busy to return the calls......
No apologies - first day, two missed calls 2nd day, then the lies and the attitude, the arguments, THE END.
THE HURT
THE TEARS
THE PAINS
THE FEELINGS........of stupidity, being used
THE MAILS..............BAD and RUDE
No one's ever mentioned that heatbreaks are literarily what they call them, u actually feek your heart breaking, like someone is piercing it with a pin.................u feel the pain and u touch it expecting to see blood..............................
THE DISBELIEF
P.S. typed in a rush, forgive the shells
later.
Today has been very boring with nothing to do, well since my supervisors aint around i decided to pend all my assignments till 2morrow too, the job can wait.....plsssssssssss.
Lemme tell u a lil about dat guy, the one dat smashed my innocent heart and robbed me of my V, ok maybe not robbed me cos it was sooooooooooo much funnnnnnnnn.
The day we met was actually a pretty horrible day for me(should ave smelt the heartbreak from day one), was in training and we were paid by cash cards( now dnt laugh, but that was my first real contact with cash cards) and was it a horrible experience. The money wldnt come outta d machine, upon d third attempt the card was swallowed by the machines and goshhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! i was so in debt and disgusted, did i mention that i was also in a strange state(sigh!!). Finally gave up on the card cos the bank had closed and went back to me hostel with a really long, umade up look. Saw a class mate of mine with a fine looking young man chatting their hearts out by a babyboy. U know now, being a classy(albeit, unmade up) chic that i ma, i just ignored the duo and moved on. But they wldnt ave any of that, the class mate called me to ask about the sad, long look and voila!!!! fate rolled into motion.
He gave me his name and i was like "Brew", wats dat"Brew" ur parents actually christened u that(lol), with a straight face, dude said "yup"....he lied. Anyways, that meeting was uneventful, went to chase after my stipend that wouldnt dispense and becry my woes to colleagues in my shoes.
Then, some days to our big party...was flirting some with the friend(no deeper action intended) just a gal aving some fun and feeling her feminity...u know now. Anyways, the Brew called me and i was shocked outta my boots. He became a constant call buddy. The friend mwhile, thot he cld play a fast one and steal some "wateva" from me but????excuse me??? he wasnt getting shit, the friend had stolen me heart over d phone(lol), he cldnt ave gotten shit from me anyway, i wasnt down on me like that.......
Then back to lasgidi and we became a major "hot" item. Did i mention that i later realised he was a home scrub.....well, was bunking with some friends but by then,.......the heart had taken a run. We were always together, wenever we cld...met his FAMILY.....yea, they also play that kinda joker.
My guy then lost his job and was i a good, xtian chic, yup, i was... stood by him through the tears, shock, dissapointment et al. Did a lil of my money spending et al before he finally landed a job with a whopping fat pay..............BEGINNING OF THE END.
Did i mention that he lost his grandmum sometime and i followed him to an unknown land, buying gifts of condolence for his family...........things we do for love.......sigh!!!!
Well, he got this job and the story changed..............he became gbogbo bigs bois......
calls - infrequent, neva returns calls, voice over phone-cold, visits-only after whining. Then, u kinda nag too much, u are choking me, i'm confused.........................then the grand visit................and d royale dame.............sigh!!!!!!
Not like i didnt call b4 turning up at his door...i sure did but he was 2 busy to return the calls......
No apologies - first day, two missed calls 2nd day, then the lies and the attitude, the arguments, THE END.
THE HURT
THE TEARS
THE PAINS
THE FEELINGS........of stupidity, being used
THE MAILS..............BAD and RUDE
No one's ever mentioned that heatbreaks are literarily what they call them, u actually feek your heart breaking, like someone is piercing it with a pin.................u feel the pain and u touch it expecting to see blood..............................
THE DISBELIEF
P.S. typed in a rush, forgive the shells
later.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Musings for the day
Sorry, for the loooonnng break, i had a really stressful weekend and had no time to spare.........well, i'm glad to be back here giving u all a slice of my soul...........
I'm actually in a repentant mood right now.......u know wat i mean now??? wanna just chill with one man cos this double dealing thing..........ah! i beg na hard work.........i hail all dem bigs girls that know so much about this................as for me i don tire. 6 months of double dealing(no fluid exchnage) and i'm sick to my tummy..........................guess i'm just a bloody good girl, sigh!!!
Did i tell u guys that i aint talking to some peeps in my office right now? Yes, i aint o.............a guy and a chic...............D guy don marry but he tried his darndest best to get a look into my inner being(u know wat i mean) dont blame me if i encouraged him a lil with loads of flirting........d truth is; ring or not, the guy fiiiiinnnnnnnnnneee. U know TDH syndrome dey worry am but i was too good to let him cup a feel jo. Most times i wish i had let him(whats the harm in it afteral?) he's got this bseductive way of licking his lips it makes u think of sucking on it foreeeeever......(na, dnt gimme dat look jooo).
Anyways, he got tired of the game since he wasnt getting rewarded so decided to bone me, na him sabi........my fantasies will suffice (lol). He suddenly became real close to this other chic, who is one hell of a jealous cat....she so covets her neighbours properties(mwhile, i told d useless gal dat i liked d guy o) now they go about saying lil nothings to themselves wen they c me around and ave this private laugh that just makes me wish them dead( not like i'm saying they are, u know but.....). Mwhile, the stupid gal as got a boyfriend whom she constantly denies dating, wonder the morale behind that....
Forget those ones jo.....there's this other guy in my office i kinda like him and he's hot on my case, remember the one i'm spposed to be dating but technically not dating??? well, the guy's got swagga and a sterling sense of humour but????? i never find a playboy worse than he is, he has a zillion gals whom he likes( i know most cos we started out as good friends) now all he wants is to cup a feel..........aint that what they all want...sigh!!!!!!!!!!!! Today, wen are we gonna kiss, 2morrow, wen are we gonna x............tiring.
Someone should tell me, cant i get a guy whose got swagga, looks like a stud, speaks like the prince, with a heart of gold, totally faithful, kisses like a greek god, richer than bill gates, nicer than mother theresa and loves me and me me me me aloneeeeeeeee?????????????????
Got this other guy whom i just might end up with...............dnt like him that much yet though. K, he's not so tall just a lil taller than i am, got this nasal sound, and rod thin(lol) yea, but thats it.......the catch is i trust him totally(dont know why) and i cld grow to love him completely( what do u say????)
Sweethearts, i avent forgotten the story of the "wolf" that got to me, dont worry tomorrow is another day......................gotta run now.
Laihar,
catchya
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I'm actually in a repentant mood right now.......u know wat i mean now??? wanna just chill with one man cos this double dealing thing..........ah! i beg na hard work.........i hail all dem bigs girls that know so much about this................as for me i don tire. 6 months of double dealing(no fluid exchnage) and i'm sick to my tummy..........................guess i'm just a bloody good girl, sigh!!!
Did i tell u guys that i aint talking to some peeps in my office right now? Yes, i aint o.............a guy and a chic...............D guy don marry but he tried his darndest best to get a look into my inner being(u know wat i mean) dont blame me if i encouraged him a lil with loads of flirting........d truth is; ring or not, the guy fiiiiinnnnnnnnnneee. U know TDH syndrome dey worry am but i was too good to let him cup a feel jo. Most times i wish i had let him(whats the harm in it afteral?) he's got this bseductive way of licking his lips it makes u think of sucking on it foreeeeever......(na, dnt gimme dat look jooo).
Anyways, he got tired of the game since he wasnt getting rewarded so decided to bone me, na him sabi........my fantasies will suffice (lol). He suddenly became real close to this other chic, who is one hell of a jealous cat....she so covets her neighbours properties(mwhile, i told d useless gal dat i liked d guy o) now they go about saying lil nothings to themselves wen they c me around and ave this private laugh that just makes me wish them dead( not like i'm saying they are, u know but.....). Mwhile, the stupid gal as got a boyfriend whom she constantly denies dating, wonder the morale behind that....
Forget those ones jo.....there's this other guy in my office i kinda like him and he's hot on my case, remember the one i'm spposed to be dating but technically not dating??? well, the guy's got swagga and a sterling sense of humour but????? i never find a playboy worse than he is, he has a zillion gals whom he likes( i know most cos we started out as good friends) now all he wants is to cup a feel..........aint that what they all want...sigh!!!!!!!!!!!! Today, wen are we gonna kiss, 2morrow, wen are we gonna x............tiring.
Someone should tell me, cant i get a guy whose got swagga, looks like a stud, speaks like the prince, with a heart of gold, totally faithful, kisses like a greek god, richer than bill gates, nicer than mother theresa and loves me and me me me me aloneeeeeeeee?????????????????
Got this other guy whom i just might end up with...............dnt like him that much yet though. K, he's not so tall just a lil taller than i am, got this nasal sound, and rod thin(lol) yea, but thats it.......the catch is i trust him totally(dont know why) and i cld grow to love him completely( what do u say????)
Sweethearts, i avent forgotten the story of the "wolf" that got to me, dont worry tomorrow is another day......................gotta run now.
Laihar,
catchya
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tit bits from my world
I sometimes wonder if love is for everyone to find, i believe its just a handful of people that will find it and the rest will wander and search till they meet their end.
The question is how do we know we are one of the chosen ones...............its this quest for love that makes us do all sorts more than our hearts can even conceive.
I had a lil misgiving in the love idea, ave always been of the opinion that i dnt ave to remain a virgin unto the marriage bed..........wen u find the one you love then you should ave no reason not to give him all...........both body and soul. Guess this idea was the beginning of the end of my innocence.
Is it true that a part of u will always crave for the one you gave ur innocence to????????????
Anyways, we communicated on a real note today or maybe i just felt that way.......he's been calling me up every once in a while to check up on me and my heart just always always skips a beat......................i think i still want him.
Its been more than a year now and my body still tingles at the thought of him....
I technically ave guys in my life now but we really dnt connect on that level (cld it be that ave built a barrier????)
Ave promised two guys to marry them and dating one "technically not dating him" and i still crave another.
sigh! i guess i'm just messed up.....................
As i was saying i sent him a text today "just checking up on him" and he responded about the weather being cold and harsh(did i tell you it rained pellets today??, o! it did), he then said "i miss u".................................waow, my heart skipped, yea it did....but its still all messed up
I dnt want him to take me for a tramp although we dated for 10months and a lil more but we've been seperated for 12months now or a month or two less. I will really hate to jump to conslusions that "i miss u" means "i want u back" but thats exactly what i did................
Responded by saying i miss him too every once in a while but well!!! a gal's gotta do wat a gal's gotta do...........then "what's a gal gotto do??" then " truth is i've moved on cos u said that was best for me" then "silence" and more "silence" then "i'm sorry for all the hurtful words i told u then, i still feel bad about it"................silence.
Truth is i know he's lost to me.........forever.
Did i tell u that some weeks ago his comment on facebook read "i'm in luv"?
Aight, will fill u in on how i got here.....................later
ciao
The question is how do we know we are one of the chosen ones...............its this quest for love that makes us do all sorts more than our hearts can even conceive.
I had a lil misgiving in the love idea, ave always been of the opinion that i dnt ave to remain a virgin unto the marriage bed..........wen u find the one you love then you should ave no reason not to give him all...........both body and soul. Guess this idea was the beginning of the end of my innocence.
Is it true that a part of u will always crave for the one you gave ur innocence to????????????
Anyways, we communicated on a real note today or maybe i just felt that way.......he's been calling me up every once in a while to check up on me and my heart just always always skips a beat......................i think i still want him.
Its been more than a year now and my body still tingles at the thought of him....
I technically ave guys in my life now but we really dnt connect on that level (cld it be that ave built a barrier????)
Ave promised two guys to marry them and dating one "technically not dating him" and i still crave another.
sigh! i guess i'm just messed up.....................
As i was saying i sent him a text today "just checking up on him" and he responded about the weather being cold and harsh(did i tell you it rained pellets today??, o! it did), he then said "i miss u".................................waow, my heart skipped, yea it did....but its still all messed up
I dnt want him to take me for a tramp although we dated for 10months and a lil more but we've been seperated for 12months now or a month or two less. I will really hate to jump to conslusions that "i miss u" means "i want u back" but thats exactly what i did................
Responded by saying i miss him too every once in a while but well!!! a gal's gotta do wat a gal's gotta do...........then "what's a gal gotto do??" then " truth is i've moved on cos u said that was best for me" then "silence" and more "silence" then "i'm sorry for all the hurtful words i told u then, i still feel bad about it"................silence.
Truth is i know he's lost to me.........forever.
Did i tell u that some weeks ago his comment on facebook read "i'm in luv"?
Aight, will fill u in on how i got here.....................later
ciao
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
OPENING UP
Shhhhh!!! wanna reveal a part of me heart,
Wanna tell you guys about "him", u know the one that hurt me so.............its funny but i think ave actually really and totally forgiven him(or havent i??) cld it be that just maybe i still crave and pine for him some where deep down my heart. Cld it be that i just want vengeance?(what.....why cant i want vengeance?) believe me guys............he treated me real bad.
Most peeps thinks it cld ave been worse but i say thats my worst..........
Guess he did some regular guy things but i gave him much more than have ever bothered to give any other. Lets leave that obe for now abeg........
Lets face the immediate matter wey dey my mind..............its like i don turn to the same thing that i criticise guys of doing, you know......................that thing with da capital "P."..............mo gbe o!!!!!
Not like i chose that life style, believe me i didnt know wen i degenerated into that. Guess i was hurting so decided to lash out at them all............and babes u know now, at that point your heart go COLD well well...........cos u really dont give a shit.
Well.....as it happens i was lashing out at the wrong set cos presently i got my hands full and one of them don dey bother me again......................sigh!!!!
Gotta leave now...................will update you guys 2morrow.
N.B I need strength to handle this mess.................
Ciao
Wanna tell you guys about "him", u know the one that hurt me so.............its funny but i think ave actually really and totally forgiven him(or havent i??) cld it be that just maybe i still crave and pine for him some where deep down my heart. Cld it be that i just want vengeance?(what.....why cant i want vengeance?) believe me guys............he treated me real bad.
Most peeps thinks it cld ave been worse but i say thats my worst..........
Guess he did some regular guy things but i gave him much more than have ever bothered to give any other. Lets leave that obe for now abeg........
Lets face the immediate matter wey dey my mind..............its like i don turn to the same thing that i criticise guys of doing, you know......................that thing with da capital "P."..............mo gbe o!!!!!
Not like i chose that life style, believe me i didnt know wen i degenerated into that. Guess i was hurting so decided to lash out at them all............and babes u know now, at that point your heart go COLD well well...........cos u really dont give a shit.
Well.....as it happens i was lashing out at the wrong set cos presently i got my hands full and one of them don dey bother me again......................sigh!!!!
Gotta leave now...................will update you guys 2morrow.
N.B I need strength to handle this mess.................
Ciao
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
