Tit bits from my world

I sometimes wonder if love is for everyone to find, i believe its just a handful of people that will find it and the rest will wander and search till they meet their end.
The question is how do we know we are one of the chosen ones...............its this quest for love that makes us do all sorts more than our hearts can even conceive.

I had a lil misgiving in the love idea, ave always been of the opinion that i dnt ave to remain a virgin unto the marriage bed..........wen u find the one you love then you should ave no reason not to give him all...........both body and soul. Guess this idea was the beginning of the end of my innocence.

Is it true that a part of u will always crave for the one you gave ur innocence to????????????

Anyways, we communicated on a real note today or maybe i just felt that way.......he's been calling me up every once in a while to check up on me and my heart just always always skips a beat......................i think i still want him.
Its been more than a year now and my body still tingles at the thought of him....
I technically ave guys in my life now but we really dnt connect on that level (cld it be that ave built a barrier????)
Ave promised two guys to marry them and dating one "technically not dating him" and i still crave another.
sigh! i guess i'm just messed up.....................

As i was saying i sent him a text today "just checking up on him" and he responded about the weather being cold and harsh(did i tell you it rained pellets today??, o! it did), he then said "i miss u".................................waow, my heart skipped, yea it did....but its still all messed up

I dnt want him to take me for a tramp although we dated for 10months and a lil more but we've been seperated for 12months now or a month or two less. I will really hate to jump to conslusions that "i miss u" means "i want u back" but thats exactly what i did................

Responded by saying i miss him too every once in a while but well!!! a gal's gotta do wat a gal's gotta do...........then "what's a gal gotto do??" then " truth is i've moved on cos u said that was best for me" then "silence" and more "silence" then "i'm sorry for all the hurtful words i told u then, i still feel bad about it"................silence.

Truth is i know he's lost to me.........forever.
Did i tell u that some weeks ago his comment on facebook read "i'm in luv"?

Aight, will fill u in on how i got here.....................later

ciao